Lyn Blue's blog
Reporting from Sunshine!
Thu, 03/24/2011 - 21:21
You'll never believe this shit... yesterday someone was shot at our motel... this scrappy guy, clearly cracked out, tried to still our 70's bedding. I saw him carry some sheets out, and said I'd call the cops if he didn't stop... well, the cops were actually at the video store next door, so Johnny told 'em what was going on...
Give me a break!
Fri, 03/04/2011 - 07:50
I'm so sick of everything and everyone lately!
The only person I can tolerate is Johnny, who's currently practicing his spoon playing routine. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I took an online emotional test today, and it came back inconclusive. Go figure!
In addition, he now thinks he might be funny, so he's trying random jokes out on me during the day to see if he should try out for Last Comic Standing, even though he has no idea when/where they hold auditions. The real comedy routine will be him trying to figure out how he's going to get there in that piddly car of his.
Rude people!
Wed, 02/23/2011 - 00:27
Bring me a bucket! With all these birthdays around the corner, I'm about to puke! And mine might be next...sigh. I know it's a while away, but it's still lurking like a big stinky ass in my face.
Do you have a case of "Living in Texas"?
Thu, 02/17/2011 - 00:04
Look people, I like to bitch and complain like the next person... but that's why I created this blog... so the low-class Blue Top citizens don't have to hear it when they come in here... but it never fails, at least one person likes to come in and gripe about the Texas weather, like everyday!
Do you not live here? Are you not used to it by now? GEEZ!
I just want to write up & hand out a Blue Top brochure that looks something like this:
Are you having a case of "Living in Texas"?
Signs that you may be suffering from living in Texas:
*Sweating one day, cold the next
Marge's Snow Day
Sat, 02/05/2011 - 04:18
Well, hell! We haven't been able to leave the area all day, so at least I live next door to Marge!
Here's a pic I took out back. Just because we're snowed in, doesn't mean we can neglect our animal duties! Well, they're her animals here, but I seem to have taken on the "Marge Assistant" role lately... which I don't mind. If I did, I'd tell her to take a hike.
Dreams Suck.
Tue, 01/25/2011 - 21:42
What's dreaming even mean if it can never be anything other than just that?
I mean, I sit around this stupid town all day and DREAM... I dream
when I'm in the bathtub, before I go to sleep, while I'm asleep, when I walk up...
and you see where it's gotten me - at the Blue Top Motor Inn Motel waiting on stinky old men.
I'm like a pair of old busted up book ends... I feel like I need a dream just to hold me together... But
it's discusting, really. 'Cause even book ends have a purpose.
Dear Dreams,
Fuck You.
What are your best bitchy comebacks?
Tue, 01/18/2011 - 21:04
The problem with all of my bitchy comebacks is nothing, except that I need more!! Usually, I am Queen, but I know there has to be more out there... and Johnny and I are having a contest - who can come up with the BEST bitchiest comeback ever!
So of course I'm cheating.
Let me hear it, beyotches. If I like yours best I will use it against him. And if I WIN, you will be rewarded. I don't know how, yet, but I'll think of something.
Now let me see what ya got... and don't be a lame ass!
Where are all the healthy relationships, anyhow?
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 03:58
As I approach 30, I feel like more and more things I see and read are complete crap. Everyone talks about how love
or sex should be this or that way... and that's how we'll have a healthy relationship... but I'm here to say BULLSHIT.
I bet Ms. Sexlady from Oprah doesn't even have sex... it's so much easier to tell someone else how to have a perfect
life than to actually do it! Trust me, I'm an expert. I can look at any asswad and say what he or she NEEDS to be doing.
marital problems suck
Wed, 01/05/2011 - 00:38
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of all this bullshit. New Years sucked an asswad. The log's still in a funk, not even washing his hands after he takes a dump, and it's really driving me crazy! It's enough that Mr. Clean is leaving his dirty ass dishes for me to clean (he knows I hate cleaning!!!) and leaving the cabinets OPEN, but now he's taking it too far...
I'm weird, you're an asshole.
Tue, 12/28/2010 - 23:28
My grandpa and I used to go camping out at the lake when I was real little. They're some of the fondest memories of childhood I have, actually. I'd play in the lake... dig in the sand for the sake of diggin' I suppose...
He was the first one that taught me how to catch a fish! When I'd look at their little eyes lookin' back at me, I'd ask if they (the fish) were hurting. His response? "Fish don't feel pain." And I believed him.
UNTIL....
