The National Association of Unsolicited Opinions

Lyn Blue

Fri, 06/11/2010 - 21:44

As you may (or may not) know, whatever... I created a list of should/should nots for 2010. I don't have much of a filter on my mouth, but I think Johnny gave me an idea today.

Someone cut us off on the farm road last week, just about pushing us into a ditch! And we were practically at a stop sign. Complete bullshit, but what were we going to do, right? We know it's this beef cake guy, Bobby, from high school... he races around the country in the same tank every day, driving different cars from his dad's shop, trying to compensate, I suppose... he doesn't work, and won't look you in the eye. Just another case of backwoods stupid around here. Like the whole texting and driving crap. At least I have a sign for that. I made one with two wooden sticks and an Oprah face... I just hold it out the window when I see someone texting and driving. It usually works, even though they all know it's me, of course.

Anyhoo, we saw Bobby pull into the convenience store shortly after, and I wanted to jump out and say somethin', but Johnny pulled me back (Wuss!!). Seems he didn't want to risk our extremely valuable lives to notify Bobby of his extremely dangerous and thoughtless action. I start giving Johnny shit for being so wussy pants about it, and he says, ‘Who made you princess of the National Association of Unsolicited Opinions?’ The wha? who? He thinks he's soooooo fuckin' funny.

It is kind of funny, I suppose. But, I told him I wouldn’t be princess of anything...

But I will be president.

I’m thinking I should make some stickies or a notepad or something. That way, folks won’t know it’s me being so honest -- personally OFFENDING them. But, they’ll get the picture when they’re being asswipes and they find a helpful lil sticky on their windshield pointing out their asswipe-ness.

And best of all, I’ll be keeping my 2010 goals!

What's that, God?

"Lyn, you're so much smarter than you think you are...."

• Lyn Blue's blog